Jana: Woah this is a steep climb up, gimme a hand someone!

Friend #1: Wait I gotta get a picture, this is a cool shot.

Jana: Okay but hurry up my arms and legs are going to give out on me soon.

Friend #2: Well can you at least smile? You always look so angry and/or bitchy and/or pornographic in pictures.

Jana: I do now, do I? How’s this? *SMILE*

Friend #1: Perfect! Just hold on fer a sec while I get this flash thingy operational…

Jana: Seriously guys, my arms are shaking now, and these boots weren’t exactly made for spelunking…

Friend #1: Got it! Ooops battery died, hold on, sometimes if I just try turning it back on…

Jana: And this unnatural smile is beginning to crack…

Friend #2: Wait, here I got it, okay ready?

Jana: I am going to fall down this hole and die, you bastards! Take the freakin’ picture!

Friend #2: *BLINDING FLASH* Okay done!

Jana: Help me outta here! Hey..do I look kinda like I’m crawling out of a giant vagina??

Tomorrow I’m back with book cover trends in fantasy and science fiction!

You are The Devil

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I’m not quite sure how I feel about this result!

Stolen from Fabio at Post-Weird Thoughts

I would heartily disagree with #10, #3, #2, and #1.

But my lord is he right on the money with Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Boring novel. Boring film.

Next!

Add to that list, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. Nobel what now? You’re joking right?

When it comes to book cover art design, tattooed characters are becoming more and more popular. Jacqueline Carey with her highly successful Kushiel’s Legacy trilogy: Kushiel’s Dart, Kushiel’s Chosen, and Kushiel’s Avatar had a lot to do with this trend as it certainly wasn’t popular prior to their release, or at the very least, not as common.

A peculiarity of this trend is that it seems to fixate primarily on tattooed women. The books are primarily written by women and aimed at a female audience as well. Why is this? I think it has to two with two issues: the idea of strong women and also social stigmas of women with tattoos. A tattooed character, be they male or female, portrays something — or is intended to portray something — and that thing is namely “danger”.

A tattooed woman (particularly one in skin-tight leather) can kick your ass. She is independent, a rebel. She is different.

That is the intended image, or stereotype anyways. Think of Angelina Jolie pre-children and the bad-girl image she portrayed, or was portrayed as by the media. These days, everyone and their grandmother have some sort of ink done, so it’s a stereotype that’s also slowly being changed.

Tattoos are becoming socially acceptable again. They already are to a certain level of North American and westernized society. But not everywhere. The Yakuza of Japan are one of the largest organized crime organizations in the world. Their members distinguish themselves by brilliant full body tattoos. Because of this, in Japan, the tattoo has a very negative stigma associated with it, as it’s related to crime and the underworld.

In the recent past, the “unsavoury” elements of society were tattooed. Women with tattoos in particular were “depraved whores,” unfit for polite society. When I got my tattoos done, it was three years before I even told my mother about it. Needless to say, it was and still is – years later – something she has never forgiven me for!

In the very distant past, tattoos had a very different meaning; they were accepted, and a part of tribal society. Several preserved corpses have been discovered in parts of Europe, covered in tattoos whose meaning and symbolism we can only guess at now. Not that long ago, and still seen, though rarely, certain Croatian women in Bosnia & Herzegovina tattooed crosses and other Catholic symbols on their bodies as a rebellion against the invading Muslim Turks. These tattoos were on visible parts of their bodies like the hands or chest; even the neck and face.

So as ideas of tattoos evolve from subversive to mainstream, they become more prevalent as accepted imagery and art.

Some further interesting reading:

AbeBooks: Authors With Tattoos. An interesting article looking at tattoos within the literary world with some neat pictures of the authors and their tattoos. Also, Literary Tattoos for People Who Love Books looks at tattoos inspired by literature, also with some great pictures.

And finally, take a look below at some of the beautiful book cover art design below chock-full of tattooed chicks and really really hot guys with….butterfly tattoos? Yes, butterfly’s. Sure. I guess. Why not?

EDIT: I forgot to mention that on Jacqueline Carey’s official author site, she has a lovely web gallery of fans and the tattoos they were inspired to get as a result of reading the Kushiel’s Legacy trilogy. Some lovely work in there!

I do not believe people who say they are not wayed by book cover art.

Filthy liars the lot of them!

Mostly I do not believe this because walking through a book store (especially the gigantic ones like Indigo or Barnes & Noble) and faced with the prospect of a literal sea of books jumping out at you, what else if not the cover will make you randomly pick up a new book?

And people are of course, attracted to different things. And we make certain assumptions about the tone or genre of a book based on its cover; whether this be on a purely subconcious level or not, it still happens.

I’ve always had a gripe with the book cover art design typical of the science fiction and fantasy genre. I do not like dragons or heaving-bosomed maidens on my covers. I do not like space ships or posed characters holding laser pistols. I do not like Boris Vellejo style art that was awesome in the 80’sand now looks awkward and outdated much in the same way middle-aged men still sporting mullets do.

I do not like cheesy science fiction and fantasy book covers because I am embarrassed to be seen reading them on the subway. Sad but true. And a lot of science fiction and fantasy book cover art is so bad that I cringe with embarassment for the poor author who probably had little choice in the matter. It’s getting a lot better though, it seems. There are some beautiful covers out there that are putting the rest to shame

Anyways, this isn’t a rant or expository essay. The other day I was browsing books online, as I frequently do, and I started noticing certain types of imagery cropping up again and again. It ocurred to me then, that as certain genres become popular or trendy, maybe the same can be said with book covers? I started collecting the images, so over the next few days I’m going to be posting my findings for any of you as fascinated by book cover art as I am– good and bad book cover art — as found in science fiction and fantasy.

First on the docket: Cloaked or Hooded Figures

This is one image I really like, when done right. And I think it’s one of those images I personally gravitate towards. There’s something about a cloaked or hooded figure on a book cover that instantly brings to mind darkness, mystery, the darker side of life, the unknown, ambigious characters, ambigous morality, secrets, and so on. Whether this is a trend or standard, I don’t really know or care. but here are some examples I found, and some are quite beautiful.

The most effective ones (to me) are The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss and Thief With no Shadow by Emily Gee. Simple, clear, and strong imagery. Many of the rest of them look too cluttered — another problem I have with many science fiction and fantasy book covers — too much going on, no single focus, etc.

This thing is sexy. I mean just look at her*:

imac

imac 24 inch glossy widescreen

Look me in the eye and tell me you do not want to have sex with that expensive, inanimate piece of luscious technology. Because you’re lying if you do.

On a more practical (and normal) level, this is a super-powerful machine that zips through any program or software faster than a coked-up Project Manager. I had Adobe Illustrator, Photoshop, and Dreamweaver open at the same time and running while I was also downloading additional software and it didn’t affect her* performance at all.

I can finally get back to blogging, reading blogs, redesigning this blog, and uh working!

And despite finding the whole Mac vs. PC fanboyism ridiculous and trite, I can honestly say as a first-time Mac owner, I’m really happy I made the switch – thus far. It makes more sense from a design standpoint, as Macs are the standard in that industry, and on a totally superficial level, the Mac is just prettier

This week my Wacom stylus arrives as well, and I think I’ve found the perfect solution for myself and other writers who can’t write by typing directly on their computers first.

More on that later.

*Referring to a computer as a her or she may sound sexist, but keep in mind that woman are in fact things or “objects” if you prefer, so it actually does fit the bill.

9. my son is obsessed with batman

8. do people make you suck their dick

7. woke up boyfriend sucking cock

6. my boyfriend will suck cock

5. cock with blood slime

4. eastern european sucking cocks

3. girl humms song while sucking cock

2. sucking a sleeping friends cock

1. women who like men in tights (this one is my favourite)

Notice a trend? I wrote one — ONE — article that used that word and yet it’s the biggest (no pun intended) reference!

For the past year and more, I’ve been working my ass off in every single direction I need to in order to survive and get what I want, but it’s still not enough. Because no matter how hard I work, and struggle, and go without sleep, there is always some little dipshit nearby who has supped from a platinum spoon his whole life and feels put upon because he has to wait another few months before his parents buy him the BMW he’s had his eye on. And by gods, if that’s not struggling, I don’t know what is.

I’m not one for comparing misfortune and tragedy. I despise people who use phrases like “well at least you’re not a starving child in Africa, so be grateful” because they’re empty and meaningless. I don’t know what starvation is like; nor do I have first-hand experience with war, or sexual abuse, or any other number of horrific fates. But at the same time, hearing this fat little prick who has never worked an honest day in his entire useless existence complain about the injustice of expensive cars not bought, and houses in untrendy neighbourhoods, makes my blood boil.

And after spending the last couple of weeks going on little to no sleep and working working working, just constantly fucking working; hearing this wealthy gutter-trash merely breathe finally made me snap and tell him to go fuck himself.

And now, predictably, I feel guilty. And may have lost a client to boot.

The truly useless dregs of society seldom seem to know they are. And when those dregs come from money, they mistakenly attach worth to cold, hard cash. Whether they earned the cash themselves or not is rarely the issue — they have use of it, and thus are better than you or I.

I suppose that sentiment is hardly revolutionary.

In other news — my computer, my life blood has broken down and now I’m faced with the prospect of buying another one on credit card. Because I have the money to burn, of course. I’ve decided to actually build the damn thing myself because I can save tons of cash that way and get a more powerful machine. Try and do that with a MAC!

I need to get back into a regular blogging schedule. I like blogging. It’s a relief from other duties. Unfortunately, I’m having to turn comment moderation on because this blog has become infested with spammers. I’m going to report them each to their respective ISP’s, but I doubt that will do much. It’s a shame I’m not some elite-techie-hacker-type because I would love to make those bastard’s computer’s fry. The geek’s alternative to kicking someone in the teeth, I suppose.

Alas, I’m not, so reporting them will have to suffice for now.

1. with sense of movement, (1) to bear off, bring, carry; se hwæl hine ábær tó Nineuéa byrg the whale carried him to Nineva; (1a) sv/r4 w.r.a. to restrain oneself; (1b) to take away, carry away, remove; (2) to bring forth, (a) to bear a child; (b) to bring to light, reveal; 2. to take away, carry away, remove; with sense of rest (metaph.), (1) to bear with, tolerate; (2) to bear, endure, suffer, not give way under trial, suffering, etc.; (3) to bear, be under an obligation for an imposition, etc.;

– From the Old English Dictionary

I’ve never understood this thought process.

For one, it takes a long time to write a novel, a long time (typically) to sell it, and after all the editing and design and what not, it can be several years before something actually hits the shelves. So if “insert genre here” is hot today; what’s to say it will be in three years time?

More so, I personally think this current tide of writer-hacks jumping on the trend train is a big reason why so much crap is published these days. You may disagree with this sentiment; but, the majority of fiction being published today has zero literary merit, and barely passes the just-for-entertainment-and-or-titillation test.

Who is to blame? I’m going to go ahead and say that some agents and editors have a lot to do with this. The moment a novel becomes a big hit (Twilight, Harry Potter) it becomes imperative for everyone in the publishing world to try and emulate that success by releasing novels of a similar type as fast as possible. I think most of these are rushed out without a thorough edit, and it shows in the final product. And who suffers? The reader, for one, simply looking for more of the same. And other, more deserving writers as well; because after the public catches on, they begin to shy away from books in an over-saturated genre. This happened to me. I read Jacqueline Carey’s Kushiel’s Legacy trilogy and was immediately impressed with the new style of dark erotic epic fantasy (how’s that for a mouthful of subgenres?) And I went on the look out for more of the same but what I found was not fresh or exciting, it was stale and predictable and badly written.

One writer in particular seemed so promising. Her novels were lauded by critics, and on the NYT bestseller list. They had gorgeous covers and back cover blurbs. Marketing had obviously gone all out for this woman. Unfortunately, the two novels of hers’ I managed to read remain on the very top of my Worst Books of the Decade List. They literally read like bad fanfiction and I was astounded. Don’t ask for a name, I’m not giving one. This is also the major reason why I no longer trust official review sources. Because according to them everything is “a complex, heartwarming, and poignant coming of age tale; with a shocking ending that will stay with you long after.”

Some writers will defiantly say that there is no such thing as a badly written book because after all, taste is subjective. That is a load of horseshit. There are a multitude of books on the shelves, some of them bestsellers chock-full of glowing reviews, that never should have made it out of the slush pile.

Horrible grammar, lack-luster or unbelievable plot, cardboard characters with poor motivation is not a subjective thing: It’s a fucking glaring thing screaming out at you from the page; making you wonder what deal with Satan this person made to get published in the first place.

And this is precisely why why literature in schools is such an important subject. English literature courses teach you to think critically and to judge a work on more than your subjective taste. For example, I hated Heart of Darkness and while I’m a huge Shakespeare nut, Ben Jonson makes me want to scream — not in the good way. Studying Volpone and writing an objective major essay for a university class was one of the hardest things for me. The difference here is that I can step outside of my obviously subjective and personal tastes to still be able to recognize the literary merit of those works.

But to go back to my original point in this long and rambling essay-rant, can you manufacture a bestseller? The article that prompted this seems to suggest you can.

According to the article: “if anyone present had “a heartwarming pet story” ready to go to print, they might find an eager response from publishers.”

And apparently “the publishing houses are also beating the bushes right now for new female thriller writers with a sophisticated literate touch, and a good work ethic.” I have no clue what a sophisticated literate touch and good work ethic means in the context of a thriller.

As for what’s not so hot these days, “interest in new sorcerer/fantasy fiction, chick lit, and urban teen novels has fallen off, and self-help books are particularly hard sells.”

So there you have it writer-hacks of the world. Sit up, listen, and dash off your next insta-bestseller following these strict guidelines. Time is of essence here, not quality, not writing something you believe in — because if it falls outside of the hot trend of the moment, you’re shit outta luck.